I should have known

I should have known that when I woke up with two (that’s right t-w-o) fever blisters on my mouth that nothing good could come of today.

Besides the oral herpes the day started fine. Tuesday is the day that I take Lily to the doctor’s office to get weighed. I’m totally obsessed with her weigh gain. I’ll explain more about that later.

She was napping well so I put her in her car seat around 10:30 and we went and ran the arrears that I had planned. We stopped by my office and got her newspaper birth announcement, went and got Waldo’s coffee, stopped at the grocery store and got cheese. Then came the doctor’s office. I make sure its our last stop because Lily hates the whole getting undressed and then redressed part.

She amazed me by not uttering any complaints while I took her clothes and diaper off. The nurse asked me what she weighed last week because she had forgotten to grab her chart. I told her 7 lbs 5 oz. She moved the little number on the old style scale and it registered 7 lbs 5 oz. No change from last week. She was very nice and suggested that I don’t wait till next Tuesday for Lily’s 2 month check up, I should get her in at the end of the week. She also said that she’d let Lily’s regular doctor know about her weight and her slight yellowness. Lil’s regular doctor is off on maternity leave herself.

I cried the whole way home. I knew this was going to mean doing more supplementing. I hate giving her formula. I so badly want Lily to be a breastfed baby. I just want whats best for her and I truly believe that’s my milk. But apparently my body has other plans or something.

Waldo and I talked about it on AIM. I cried some more. I got ahold of myself and rescheduled Lily’s appointment to this Friday afternoon. Then I cried some more.

Lily’s regular doctor had gotten the message and called me. Thankfully by this time I was calm again. We spoke and she said what we already knew. We have to give her a little formula everyday again. She also suggests we give the supplements in a bottle, just so she doesn’t get past the point where she might never take a bottle. No bottles would be fine with me, but in reality I know she needs to have a bottle every once in a while if I ever want to have dinner alone with my hubby or heaven forbid go to the movies.

I know that this is what needs to happen to help Lily grow, but I hate it.

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